Yeah, so like I said, I went to Summer Jam yesterday with my sister. It was awesome.

On the way there we not only got lost, we also realized we forgot to bring our tickets. We eventually made our way to the stadium, where our mom met us there with our tickets that she brought all the way from home. Thanks, Mom.

We were hoping to see some of the pre-show performance, but because we were late, we missed Kid Sister and Buckshot. (Although, in light of later events, I’m really not that confident that Kid Sister and Buckshot showed up. More on that later.)

But we did get to try out these weird-ass Macaroni and Cheese crackers for free. Also, I won a lanyard from the Marines because I did ten pull-ups. That’s right, ten bitches.

But the best thing I got for free was these shoes. No, really, I got those $70 shoes for free. Granted, they’re not good shoes, and I can’t imagine someone actually paying $70 for them. But there was this huge tent where they were literally giving away dozens of pairs of shoes. It was pretty sweet. And I mean, they’re kind of cool shoes, especially for free.

So eventually the show actually started. Yung Berg and Ray-J opened the show. They performed their singles “Sexy Can I” and “Sexy Lady,” and then immediately left the stage. The whole thing took about ten minutes. It was perfect, because I love those songs but I’m certain I don’t want to hear them do anything else.

Along these lines, Swizz Beatz did a surprise appearance where he did only the first verse of “Money in the Bank” (awesome, despite the fact that I missed almost all of it while I was getting food). Maino also showed up by surprise and did only “Hi Haters” (even more awesome.)

I’m going a little out of order here, but Raekwon and Ghostface showed up by surprise in Alicia Keys’s set and did “C.R.E.A.M.” and another song I don’t remember. It was sweet though.

Also, I got to see T-Pain perform “Bartender” and “Buy You A Drank” live, which was as awesome as it sounds. Cross that off my list of lifelong goals.

Of course, the biggest performers were Rihanna, Kanye West, and Lil’ Wayne. Except Rihanna didn’t show up. (Neither did Gym Class Heroes, but I was grateful for that.) What the hell is that? How do you not show up for a concert with no explanation? Whatever.

(Update: apparently Rihanna was at the MTV Movie Awards in LA instead. I don’t care, that’s no excuse. You can’t just not show up for a concert!)

Before I talk about Ye and Weezy, I need to embarrass my siser. Background information: we were sitting in the nosebleeds. It was a little windy up there.

At one point we got a couple burgers. We sat down in our seats and started eating them. I was putting mustard on my burger when all of a sudden I see my sister’s burger, completely untouched besides the one bite she took, fly out of her hand.

At the time I was focused on putting mustard on my burger. By the time I look up, I only see the aftermath, but it’s clear what happened. The burger flew out of her hand (from the wind) and hit the back of the girl sitting in front of her, leaving a ketchup stain on her back. Then the burger landed under this random girl’s seat.

At first we were both completely serious about the situation. In my in-the-moment estimation, this turn of events had caused three problems:

  1. My sister no longer had her burger.
  2. The girl in front of us had a stain on her back.
  3. The girl in front of us had a burger under her chair.

None of these problems had an obvious solution, except the first which had a shitty solution (pay $7 for another burger? Fuck that.).

So for about ten seconds, we both just sat there wondering, “What are we going to do?”

But then we realized that, somehow, the girl didn’t notice that a burger hit her in the back.

Then the answer to our question was obvious (“Nothing,”) and we just started cracking up.

The girl didn’t notice the stain for like another hour, and I don’t think she ever noticed the entire burger under her seat.

Anyway, Lil’ Wayne. His performance was pretty much what you would expect. I’m not a huge Lil’ Wayne fan (I like some of his stuff, but overall I don’t really care), so I wasn’t too into it.

He did play electric guitar at one point, though. That was completely out of left field. Especially since he can’t play electric guitar at all. I don’t know what he was thinking.

After Weezy F Baby, Ye took the stage. He was amazing. There were literally fireworks during his set at exciting points, he was rapping like a maniac, they had this model up there during “Flashing Lights” to act out the music video, he did like 2/3 of Graduation, everything was awesome.

The coolest part may well have been this a capella he did. This video shows most of it, although it doesn’t have the beginning which might have been the best part. It’s still amazing.

Then Public Enemy showed up. I don’t know too much of their stuff, but I at least recognized “Bring the Noise” and “Don’t Believe the Hype.” I don’t think many people there knew any of their music, which was too bad.

Overall it was a lot of fun. You should have gone.

Hey, make sure you check in tomorrow by the way. I’m going to put up a hip hop instrumental track (the first beat I’ve ever made).

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